lube.

i navigate my way through my own soft folds of skin seemingly endless shades ranging from transluscent milk to ash and brown with every move they shift my body listlessly rolling end over end down a hill head spinning with no sign of an end in sight i am slippery sliding through every grasp had in constant motion within a blanket of sound i can hear in the remote distance meaningless words and even more meaningless promises

and i wonder how he thinks he could hold on so loosely and still have a grip.

myer's law.

after a long pause as we stand with faces smiling, mouths closed, eyes squinting into the setting sun as the breeze blows lightly over our ears, i let my shoulders fall and the cool feeling of the air settle on my skin.

"yo man," he says, cracked teeth sticking out in a grin, "yo man you got someofthose get-a-nigga-busted eyes i tell ya sheeeeit."

"it's really a beautiful night, i love the way it smells down here, the wind is always blowing."

"yeah man, yo ain't no shit about it, that gulf shit right over there," as he points his cigarette somewhere towards the west, "that gulf shit just be sittin there chillin'."



lesson #1
i have become so accustomed to lying compulsively for no reason beside the fact that no one is ever actually listening to me, that i inadvertently pushed away the only ones that ever actually did.

country song.

baby i once told you that i loved you and i meant it
but if our time was cold hard cash i simply would have spent it
i always was a small town girl when i'd an ear i had lent it
yet when we were together empty words they were relentless

lately i been thinkin' on some things
like maybe i should give up on my dreams
oh no now baby it's time for you to go

my momma always said every saint's a sinner in disguise
my eyes are sharp now baby and so's my wit grown sly
i tread lightly so's not to falter tightly conceal my lies
for your eyes only mine will shed tears and my own i will die

lately i been thinkin' on some things
like maybe i should keep this and just leave
oh but baby, it's time for you to go

you robbed me of my soul but you can't rob me of my body
my hands now mangled blue and twisted my face's snarled and knotted
when a hug is what i needed the only bear i saw was haughty
until the sun comes back 'round the skies turn ominous and cloudy

baby if the world weren't such an ugly place
maybe i'd get to see your smiling face
oh but baby it's time for you to go

a brief interlude.

that's right my past is in the future baby
my first is just my last.

when i'm moving i see backwards
where i'm going i have passed.